The order
by Cilvanti
Summary: Shepard has survived the reaper attack, but what happened to her? Why is she acting so, different? My version of the ME3 ending! Rated M for smut! Femshep/Garrus romance! Final Chapter is up!
1. Saved

**THE ORDER**

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**Okay, so I've read a lot of Shepard (F)/ Garrus fanfictions and because I'm disappointed in the ending of Mass Effect 3, just like a lot of fans I think, I wrote my own ending of the story. I'm not sure if I have to keep it as a one-shot or try to make more chapters of it, so please R&R! Let me know what you think!**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of Mass Effect's characters, they all belong to Bioware. Simple!**

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**Garrus's P.O.V.**

"Go back! DAMN IT, GO BACK!" Garrus screamed at Joker while looking at the beam Shepard entered a few minutes ago. The catalyst had worked. All because she probably made it happen. She had send them all away but he couldn't just let her…no he couldn't even say the word.

"Nobody is alive down there Garrus! YOU KNOW THAT!" Joker screamed back while trying to handle the ship. It was trembling.

"You don't know that!" The Turian growled and slammed his fist against the window he was looking out of.

"_And if I'm up there in that bar…and you're not…I'll be looking down..you'll never be alone…"_

If Turians could cry, he would be by now, instead he just growled softly while deciding how to get her back.

He got to the communicator and tried to reach any of the soldiers still left behind. If there were any soldiers alive, they could find Shepard…his Shepard. His mate.

"_There's no Shepard without Vakarian.."_

Did he ever tell her how much she truly meant for him? How much those hands of her, that body of her, truly made him complete once against his body?

_Small hands caressed his neck, scratching ever so slightly. One moving down over his back while the other went to his fringes. Her breath against his cheek as she whispered his name, moaning afterwards as she moved her hips in sync with his. Her soft body pressed tightly against his as they move, her moans turning into screams, little beats of sweat rolling down her back._

He growled again and started to talk in the communicator.

"Is anybody there? Anyone?" No one answered. Only the sound of what he guessed was fire. He flicked his mandibles in anger, he should be done there, should've gone with her! Why did he go?

"Is there anyone still there? Please, answer!" Spirits, he was going to lose his mind. She couldn't be dead…she just couldn't be!

"Anyone….SHEPARD!" He screamed and heard his name being whispered back to him.

"..Garrus.."

**Shepard's P.O.V.**

Darkness…all she could see was darkness. She could feel pain soaring through her whole body, every breath seemed to be like breathing in acid, burning and stinging her longs. Her eyes were unwilling to open and she felt numb, but she was alive.

She heard fire, a small one, but no gunfire. No nightmare giving beams of the reapers either. Did they win? Were they gone? Who else had survived?

"_..your boyfriend has an order for you…come back _alive_.."_

Garrus….He was on the ship.

He was probably safe by now, or so she hoped. She opened her eyes and looked around. London seemed death. The soldiers around her were gone, most of them were. If she listened closely she could hear planes and cars in the distance, but none on their feet.

She tried to move, and with a scream of pain she could stand up, she could feel a couple of broken bones in one leg, burn wounds here and there, but she had to contact the Normandy, let them know she's alive.

She heard a voice…his voice…nearby. It came from a communicator of one of the fallen soldiers.

His voice…

"_..maybe even find out what a Turian-Human baby looks like.."_

Garrus Vakarian. He wanted to be in her future..to have babies if possible..she had to let him know.

She dragged her body over to the fallen soldier and after checking for a heartbeat and finding none she took his communicator and heard him scream, his voice filled with anger and worry.

"Anyone….SHEPARD!"

"..Garrus.." She whispered his name, her throat still sore and dry. He heard her though, she could hear him gasp in relief.

"Shepard.." His voice then changed from relieved to worried again.

"Where are you? We're going to pick you up."

"At the place the beam used to be at…I…think." She coughed a bit as she felt her longs burn again.

"Stay there." She heard him say something to someone else and heard a shouting from Joker, another unmistakable voice to her.

"Love…we'll be there with a couple of minutes. Just…stay alive..please.." He was worried again. She couldn't help but smile slightly, he even called her 'love'.

"Is that another order, officer Vakarian?" She asked with slight amusement in her voice. He sighed.

"Yes commander, your boyfriend orders you to stay alive." She felt a tear roll down her eyes and she sat her body down, feeling that her legs couldn't hold her up much longer.

"Don't worry, that bar doesn't sound attractive to me. I'd rather like to find out what a Turian-Human baby looks like. So you better hurry your scaly ass over here." She heard him chuckle again and after a couple of minutes of radio silence, her just waiting for him to get her while he was trying not to break things on the ship to go faster, the Normandy landed on Earth and after a couple of more minutes, they found her, on the floor, broken but alive.

She completed her order, she came back to Garrus. Or, actually, he came to her, but she stayed alive. And now, they could find out if it even was possible to get Turian-Human babies, and how many they could make if it was possible.

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**A/N: So...that was it. Let me know what you think, one-shot? More chapters? And what about the story itself? R&R Please! Thank you!**


	2. Love, memories and a bit of pain

**THE ORDER**

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**First off, I want to thank ShenkoFan for the review, and as you can see there will be more chapters! YAY! I also like to thank everybody that added this story or me as author to their alert list or favorite list, I appreciate it very much! By the way, first name of this Shepard is Jael. Now…on to the story!**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Mass Effect or any of the characters! The game and characters all belong to Bioware.**

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Shepard had been unconscious ever since she'd been picked up by Garrus from Earth. She was awake when they carried her back to the Normandy but due to the amount of blood loss and of course all the wounds she had, her body had shut down once on the ship. Garrus hurried to the med bay with her in his arms, telling Doctor Chakwas to not let her die.

Shepard had to go through a couple of surgeries immediately to fix the broken bones and make sure that everything was back to normal. Not that Shepard ever was normal. After the operation and taking care of the burn wounds Doctor Chakwas allowed Garrus to get back in the med bay. He had been pacing back and forth in front of the room the whole time during the operation, a total of at least four hours.

"You should take some rest as well, Garrus. Your own health will decrease if you stay up all night." Chakwas told him after he'd been beside Shepard for over two days without any rest. He already looked paler than normal. His only response was a nod of his head. Chakwas sighed before leaving the med bay to give him some privacy.

"_I love you, Garrus Vakarian." _

And he never said those words back to her, but instead admitted that the videos of Joker never went so far, that he did know a part about sleeping together. He rubbed his face with one of his hand and grumbled slightly.

"You should know, Shepard, that even if I said I love you..those words are still not enough. Cause I feel more for you than simple love. It's…damn it Shepard you're everything to me so don't you dare die now, not after I found you, not after you saved us ..again." He took one of his lover's hands between his talons and squeezed it softly. He would have made her his for all eternity. He still would, she just had to wake up, recover, and he would make sure she would know that he would be by her side for all their days left together.

_She was pushed up against her fish tank on her room, her hands above her head, clothes torn off of her body. Her brown-reddish hair sticking to her face as sweat rolled down her forehead. Piercing green eyes were looking into his blue orbs. His name echoing in the room, bouncing off the walls as he bit her neck, marking her, making her his. She travelled her hands over the blue marks on his face as he looked back at her, licking her lips with his tongue and she opened her lips for him as she felt his dick move faster in and out of her, pushing her harder against the fish tank. She moaned his name again as he grunted, licking the wound on her neck again. The love she felt for him shining in her eyes as she felt herself come closer and closer to her climax. And as she screamed his name one final time, she never looked more beautiful in his eyes, with her hair sticking to her face, her cheeks flushed red from their love making and her eyes seemed to shine brighter than normal. She was absolutely beautiful._

The flashback got him to close his eyes for a couple of minutes and he fall asleep with her hand between his talons and his head resting beside her body on the bed. His mandibles were twitching every now and then. A groan was heard and his head immediately went up, looking at the love of his life on the bed. She seemed to tighten her eyes closed but she didn't wake up.

"Shepard?" He whispered and she groaned again, her eyelids twitching.

"Jael? Love? Wake up..please.." He spoke slightly louder but again, all he got was twitching of her eyes, no movement of her hands and no groans anymore. He howled softly in pain, a plead for her to wake up.

He couldn't bare living on with her. Her heart was thumping steadily, she was alive, he knew that but..he had to see her smile again, he had to feel her body against his again, hear her say his name. He stood up and placed his forehead against his in the form of a Turian kiss. He closed his eyes and stood like that for a while.

"G-garrus.."Her voice wasn't like anything he could describe. It made him calm and took away all his pain. He opened his eyes and swallowed as he saw her eyes looking at him. He twitched his mandibles and gave her a smile, their foreheads still touching.

"Jael…" He breathing in relief, she was awake.

"Are they..gone?" She asked him and he nodded, unable to speak with the knot in his throat.

She smiled and was about to speak again until she grabbed her head with one hand and started to scream in agony, her eyes shut tight and Garrus took a step back, howling in pain from seeing her like this. Her hands went to grab her hair and pulled as she screamed louder, higher, as a banshee.

"CHAKWAS!" Garrus growled and the doctor ran inside, grabbed a sedative from one of her draws and sedated Jael, making her fall limp on the bed again.

"What happened?" Chakwas asked the Turian sternly.

"She woke up…then..started screaming all of a sudden…" the Turian answered, his sub-harmonics howling in worry and pain for his mate.

"What happened to her in the Catalyst? What has she done?"Chakwas asked and Garrus sighed in frustration.

"If I only knew.." He sat back down again and grabbed Shepard's hand between his talons again and placed his forehead against the back of her hand.

"Please Shepard, stay with me. "

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**A/N: There it is! Chapter two! R&R please! Let me know what you want in the future chapters, all ideas are welcome, but of course I can't guarantee that I will all fit them in the story ... hehe ^^ if you wish for more smut or sexy interspecies stuff ... let me know as well! x Cilvanti**


	3. Those three words he said

**THE ORDER**

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**My thanks to Cocoagirl27707 for her review on my last chapter and thanks for those that either made me their favorite author (I'm honored!) or make this story their favorite story, or put it on their alert list! It means a lot to me, especially since this is my first ME3 fanfiction. I'm still thinking about a good storyline, I have a few ideas, just need to work them out.**

**Anyway, I know my chapters were short, so I'll try and make this one longer. Keyword is TRY! No guarantees. Oh, and don't forget to R&R! **

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the characters from Mass Effect, wish I did because Garrus would be all mine but I simply don't! The game and characters belong to Bioware.**

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"_You belong to us now. You cannot escape, commander Shepard." The voice called, echoing to her as she stood before the reaper that towered over her. She was in her armor, her body was frozen in place. She couldn't look away, couldn't move, she could only stare at the reaper. _

"_I belong to no one but me." She hissed and heard what seemed like a chuckle from the reaper. _

"_You will obey, commander Shepard." Jael growled and then saw the beam, aimed at her. Her body was still unable to move and there was no cover to duck behind. The horrific sound of the reaper shooting the beam echoed and she grabbed her head as she screamed in fear and pain as she felt the heat of the beam coming her way, slowly. _

"NOOO!" She jolted awake, her body shooting upwards, her head aching, her skin feeling like it was on fire, she could hear voices but didn't know if they were from inside her head or if they were real. But before she could even find out, blackness covered her eyes again and she fell back on the bed, consciousness leaving her body and mind as voices called her name in desperation, but she couldn't react.

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"JAEL!" He called her name again while Chakwas touched her head, feeling the heat it was radiating. It was like she was on fire.

"What the hell HAPPENED?" Garrus screamed in worry while taking hold of his mate's hand again. At first he was talking with Chakwas about the progress, about her earlier attack, and then all of a sudden Jael was screaming her head off, shouting 'no' for a reason unknown to him. To say he was worried would be an understatement. His own heart was beating so hard he was afraid it would fly out of his chest. He couldn't lose her. He was nothing without her, his Archangel days are proof of that. He always ended up in trouble without her. And even though the reapers were gone, he would still find a way to get himself into trouble. He was positive about that one.

"Chakwas…what's wrong with her?" He asked and saw the doctor's worried expression. No good news then?

"I need to get a brain scan. I don't know what happened when she stepped in that beam, but I need to find out what it did to her brain. These signs…these…attacks..it's psychological."She explained and Garrus growled before nodding.

It had been three days since Shepard's woke up and got her attack, this was the second time. Five days since the operation. Five days that he had been in her room, not leaving her side and Chakwas was getting frustrated by his never ending presence. She saw how he was sitting in his chair with his shoulders hanging low, his eyes dropping every once and a while only to be opened quickly followed by a soft and low growl. His voice was cracking. If it wasn't for her to give him food and something to drink, he would've been in about the same state as Shepard.

"Garrus…get some rest. She's stable, I'm going to set up the needed machinery to check on her brain activity. I need you to get some rest, at least eight hours of rest. Nothing will happen in the meantime, and if there is news, I will inform you. Get a shower, get rest, eat and drink properly and come back tomorrow. You're not allowed back in this room until I can see you did all I asked." She told him and she saw him hesitating before he grunted and nodded, squeezing his mate's hand before slowly leaving med bay while Chakwas went to set up the machinery needed.

He could still remember their first meeting, how she helped him with his investigation on Saren and how she changed his way of thinking, how devastated he was with her death. Her funeral was one he would always remember, everybody was there, giving her one last goodbye. Some told her a small story, some just staring at the picture, unable to say anything. He gave her a promise to not fail her. He would make sure the mission to defeat the reapers would go on, that he would make the galaxy aware. But he failed, no one would believe him.

And then, she returned, saving his ass once again, and their romance started. He felt so nervous, so vulnerable. How could a simple human female make him feel this way? But then again, Shepard wasn't just a human female. She was unique. She made him see things differently. She gave him hope. And she made him feel like he could mean everything to just one person and made him feel like one person meant life to him.

The first time they made love…god…it was amazing, indescribable, like all the times he made love to her. He never thought he could feel the way he did when near her. Her presence was intoxicating. The first time he saw her after her house arrest on Menea, she made his heart skip a bit, hoping she was still his, but seeing that she still wore the necklace he once gave her, he knew the answer. So it was no surprise they got a little make-up session for lost time in the main battery after their meeting. He couldn't help but chuckle at how perverted they were.

"_Garrus…couldn't wait to get to work I see?" He heard her voice ask and looked up from his calibrations to see her standing at the console, in her civvies, her brown-reddish her framing her face while her green eyes seemed to smile at him. He smiled to her in return and walked over to her, explaining that calibrating the gun was a distraction for him now. He looked at the necklace and grabbed it gently, looking at it closely before sighing and letting it fall back in place. She smiled at him and wrapped her arms around his neck, nuzzling her face in the crook where his shoulder met his neck. She kisses the scare she left behind there, her bite mark. He purred in return and held her closer. Spirits he missed this. He kissed the mark he left on her and heard her giggle. He missed that sound most of all. The sound of her laugh was worth the world to him. He growled as he felt her scratch him behind his fringes, felt her caress the soft skin on his neck, she knew what that did to him, the little devil. He looked at her and she smirked, she knew what she was doing and he knew what she wanted. Hell, he could never deny her that. So he scooped her up in his arms, making sure the door to the battery was locked and walked up to the wall, trapping her there between him and the wall. Her legs were wrapped around his waist and he held her hands up above her head while kissing her neck, licking it every now and then. He heard her moan and that gave him a pleasant chill through his body, making him want her even more. He let go of her hands to let his hands roam all over her body, feeling every curve her body had and ending on her breasts, playing with them while his hips made sure she stayed trapped against the wall. He felt her nipples become hard and groaned in pleasure while she gasped in surprise. He couldn't take it anymore, he needed her, wanted her, craved for her. And he knew she felt the same. He undressed her, almost ripping her clothes of her body before licking and biting every bit of exposed skin on her chest and neck. He then got rid of his own clothes and with one growl he pushed himself inside of her, making her scream in delight. He started thrusting in and out slowly, making her adjust to him again. As he felt her move with him after a couple of seconds he started to move faster and harder, every one of her moan made him go faster and as she bit his mark again he bit hers in return as he felt her walls tighten around his member before he felt himself spill inside of her .Their breaths heavy and their hearts pounding hard against their chest. "That..is the protocol on reunions." She said with a pleased sigh and he chuckled. _

Yeah, they were perverted alright. And he loved it.

After a shower and a good meal, he went to try and get some sleep. He knew Chakwas was right, he had to take care of himself. After all, how could he help his mate or in human terms girlfriend if he himself was too weak to even stay awake? He went to the main battery and after laying on his cot for a couple of minutes he was in a deep slumber.

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Chakwas was reading the brainwaves of Jael. They were out of control. Shepard's eyelids were twitching every now and then, the corners of her lips moved up in a growl. It was as if she was fighting, but..what? What was she fighting against? The reapers were gone, no more collectors, Saren was down as well. The illusive man was never to be heard of again as well, so what was she fighting?

Jael's eyelids moved again, a growl escaping her throat, her voice cracking from because her throat was dry and hardly used in the last couple of days.

'_Come back **alive**.' The sentence kept repeating itself in her mind, Garrus's voice urging her on. She had to stay alive, not matter what, it was her order, her task. She couldn't let anyone take her life from her in any way! _

She woke up with a gasp and saw Chakwas hovering over her. Her eyes blinking a couple of times before a smile appeared on her face. Jael growled a bit, not liking how close she stood. Chakwas noticed the change in behavior, normally Shepard would have just smiled in return and ask what was going on. But this woman…this Shepard…she was different.

"What is going on?" Jael grumbled and Chakwas moved away from hovering over her to stand beside her so that Jael could sit up straight.

"You've been out for three days. You woke up after the operation, remember?"

Shepard nodded before looking around, obviously looking for her boyfriend.

"He's asleep, he's been with you every day since he found you, five days in total. He needed some rest." Chakwas explained and looked at her watch. "He'll be here any moment though. He's had 10 hours of sleep according to EDI." Shepard only nodded and growled again. She hates the med bay. She always had, always will.

'_Come back __**alive.**__'_ The words echoed through her mind again and she grabbed her head. Those reapers, they were still after her, though she controlled them and moved them away, she knew they were still after her. It couldn't be that she was still alive after all that, something had to be wrong.

"Jael?" His voice called to her and she turned her head to him. Her eyes blinked a couple of times before recognizing him, standing in the doorway. He was looking confused.

"How are you feeling, love?" He asked before walking towards her and sitting down on the bed next to her body.

"I have to get back to work." She mumbled and he put one arm on one of her arms, the skin still pink from healing from the burn wounds, Chakwas had made sure of the quick healing.

"Jael, you need rest. You're still not fully healed, so please, stay here till Chakwas gives you permission to go back to work."He told her and she growled, something he wasn't used to hear from her.

"I am perfectly capable of deciding if I am ready for work or not, it's my body not yours." She snapped and he blinked a couple of times.

"Shepard, I'm serious, you're skin is still healing from the burn wounds, some wounds are still healing as well, you might even get your wound of your operations opened if you go back to work." He told her, only angering her more.

"Move away, officer. I'm going back to work. I am the commander and I can handle myself." She said and before he could even stop her, she moved all the wires from her body, stood up and before she could start to take the 'classy' hospital dress of her body, her eyes rolled to the back of her head and her knees buckled underneath her. Before she hit the ground, Garrus was there to catch her and put her back on the bed, calling Chakwas back to help with the wires.

"What did she do?" She asked.

"She..protested on staying her. This is not the Shepard I know. That is all I am certain of." Garrus answered and Chakwas nodded.

"Yes , I've noticed. When she woke up she was growling, she was agitated and hardly talked."She explained while checking Shepard's vital signs. Her heartbeat was fast, but slowing down to her normal pace. Her skin felt warmer than usual and her eyes were closed but her eyelids were twitching, as if she was dreaming again.

"Maybe Liara can look with us?" Garrus asked in a whisper, unsure of his own suggestion and Chakwas nodded before leaving them behind to get the asari to help.

"Jael, what happened to you? What happened when you entered that damned beam? Damn it Jael, I don't want us to fight like this, I told you to take your damned rest!" He said and held her hand again, sitting back in his chair next to her bed. Whatever it was that happened, it had changed her, and not for the better.

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**A/N: I could continue like this for hours on end, but I would like to leave something for upcoming chapters. I'm not going to explain what happened just yet, you just have to wait for the next chapter. Maybe, just maybe, that chapter will explain something. Muahahaa! **

**R&R please! **

**Xx Cilvanti**


	4. Friends?

**THE ORDER**

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**Ah yes, I'm already on the fourth chapter, I don't think I ever made it this far with a story without running out of ideas to get the story going. I'm surprising myself here! **

**First off, I want to apologize to Cocoagirl27707 for not being able to put this chapter up in the 8 hours she had hoped I could. Hehe. I guess I needed a little more time. But, here it is! Hope that makes up for it! Thanks for the review though! **

**I also wanted to thank M-Angel 05 for the review! I got this idea from a story I read about Shepard losing her memory after her death between ME1 and ME2, talked with my boyfriend about what I could do, what I wanted in this story and he helped me with examples how to get it done. **

**Oh well, R&R! As usual! **

**Disclaimer: Though I really like Garrus, I don't own him or any other Mass Effect characters. They all belong to Bioware.**

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Shepard's recovery was going slow. She was now fully awake but was not allowed to leave her bed or room in any case. And that was only making her angry, which made Garrus stay in the battery to calibrate and help others to maintain the ship. After getting Shepard back, the Normandy had taken some damage, none it couldn't handle, but it was necessary to fix it before they would leave earth.

Liara had made sure to check on Shepard before she had woken up and said that she thought Jael's reaction was because of whatever happened on the beam had traumatized her. A logical explanation according to Chakwas, but Jael wouldn't have it.

According to her it wasn't anything she hadn't seen before. Bodies, lots of them, were stacked in the citadel but she had seen a lot of bodies before. Some were of teammates of her, she never was traumatized afterwards. She had mourned over them but she could still continue work afterwards, so why would this be any different?

Garrus had said that a near death experience was something she hadn't experienced up close and personal like this, knowing that there would be a small change to survive and yet survive anyway. That could leave some damage, just like it had after her resurrection. That got her quiet but she snapped at him, still having lots of anger build inside of her, that she was still the same Shepard, nothing would scare her and she could still work, so the whole 'stay in bed and rest' situation was bullshit to her.

Now it was a couple of days later after that conversation and Shepard noticed that Garrus was avoiding her, or so it seemed. Her anger spiked again and as she acted before thinking about the consequences she growled and got her omnitool from her nightstand. Pushing a couple of buttons she got connected to Garrus's omnitool to communicate with him.

"Garrus, I'd like you to come up to my room. We need to talk." She said, her voice still dark from anger.

"I'll come when I have time, Shepard, I'm kind of busy at the moment." She heard him say, his voice sounding angry as well which only made her growl in return.

"Officer Vakarian I need you to come up to my cabin _**now**_. I think this is very important." She tried to stay calm, tried to keep her patience but he just fueled her anger it seemed.

"I'm on my way, commander." Garrus responded. His voice was distant and cold. Something was not right. Something was out of place. She knew it. She felt it yet she couldn't do anything about it. Everything seemed to anger her. Everything was bothering her, but he was the only person that could seem to calm her if only just a little.

And she couldn't lose that. Not now, not ever.

"Shepard. What's going on?" Garrus asked as he stood in the doorway to her cabin. She motioned for him to come closer and he sat down on her bed next to her. She was sitting, leaning her back against the headboard of her bed and he mirrored her.

"Garrus, why are you avoiding me? Why aren't you visiting me anymore? Chakwas had told me you were with me every day till I woke up since the day you found me. Five days none stop. And now, since I'm awake, it feels like you don't want me anymore, so what the hell is going on?" She asked him, getting straight to the point. He didn't look at her as he answered.

"You're not who you were before. You're darker. You don't seem to care about your crew anymore, only about yourself and only about what benefit it gives you. Every decision you make, it all benefits you, but not the crew." He told her and grumbled before he continued.

"The Jael I love, the woman that has my heart, she was the woman that changed my mind, she showed me that not all people are bad. She even made sure the Krogans and the Turians were working together, helping each other. I miss that woman." He said and then looked into her eyes, letting her see the broken man he now was.

The feeling Shepard had, the one she thought she couldn't do anything about, now made sense. She was losing him. He thought she was different?

"What the fuck are you talking about, Garrus? I am still Jael Shepard, still the same woman, I helped the freaking galaxy! I saved everyone! What do you mean I only think for myself?" She was angry again, and then it hit her. She widened her eyes as she thought about it.

She was losing him, because of her anger.

"Garrus…"

"And that reaction is exactly what I mean. Shepard, I know you've been through a lot, I don't know what the hell happened up there, I would like to know of course but it's up to you to tell me. I am here to be your friend, but you have to let me in." He said before he stood up and walked to the door. He looked over his shoulder at her with a look of regret, opening his mouth to say something but he shook his head instead and walked out of her room.

'Did he just say he'd be there to be my **friend**?' She thought and felt her throat closing, her eyes watering and her body tensing all at once. She had lost him. She lost her best friend, her lover, her boyfriend, the one person she thought would always be in her life. He was gone.

'_Come back **alive**, it would be an awfully empty galaxy without you.'_

She did what was ordered of her, didn't see? She came back to him, alive. But the galaxy wasn't save yet, it couldn't be save yet! She only controlled the reapers to go back and never harm again. She only did a temporary option. She couldn't destroy earth…she didn't mix synthetic and organic life together either, simply because she thought it wasn't the best option. She controlled those bastards and made them move from the planets, destroying the mass relays as well. All the while she was thinking about him, seeing his smile guiding her on, those three words echoing in her head. She had to make it back to him.

For the first time since she was saved and operated she felt tears run down her cheeks. She was crying, her throat already felt dry, her vision was blurred by tears and she curled herself up, her knees pressed to her chest while her arms hugged her knees closer. She touched the mark on her neck, the one Garrus gave her ages ago, and bit her lip to keep herself from sobbing loudly.

She couldn't help it though.

As more tears came to slide over her face she took her blanket and tried her best to disappear. That night she cried herself to sleep.

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It's been two days since she talked to Garrus, and every day would end and begin with her crying over him, unsure of how things were between them. She couldn't just let him go though. She would fight for it.

But how?

She pushed her limits with her body, wanting her legs to get stronger fast. She couldn't let things slip out of her hands just yet. She could still fight.

She had to stay alive. She had to survive so she could save the galaxy when the reapers return. She had to survive for her crew to have their commanding officer so they had someone to guide them before they return home. She had to survive for **him**, for them, so they could be like they used to be.

'_Maybe even see what a turian-human baby looks like.' _

That was their plan, to try and get a family, however small the chances were.

She had to survive. The reaper threat wasn't over yet. Why else was she so scared? Why else couldn't she sleep without having nightmares?

The galaxy was an awful and cruel place sometimes. She knew that now.

After a couple of weeks Shepard was able to walk around the Normandy. She never went to the battery, simply because she wasn't sure what to say to him after everything, and she wasn't even sure if she was allowed near him, if he still wanted her as much as she wanted him.

So instead of having a high chance she got dumped she avoided it and just went to train her body. Making herself stronger.

Chakwas had been trying to get her to stop, but she'd been at it for more than two hours.

Two hours of training, two hours of nonstop kicking and punching just to get stronger, to make sure the galaxy would be safe.

After several punches she was suddenly grabbed by her hands, forcing her to stop. The hands were familiar though. It was Garrus. She looked over her shoulder at him with confusion in her eyes. And as she tried to free herself she heard him growl.

"What are you doing?" He demanded, his voice low and dark.

'_Come back **alive**.'_

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**A/N: An other chapter, and more ideas come flooding into my mind. I want to keep it simple though, for myself mostly. The chapters are short, I know, but I hope they are sufficient anyway and I hope they make you all hope for the next chapter! R&R!**


	5. Blowing off steam

**THE ORDER**

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**I want to thank everyone for adding this story to their favorites, I didn't know it actually was such a nice story for you all to read, so I'm pleased! **

**I want to thank cocoagirl27707 for her review and I apologize for the short chapter and for 'killing' her, hehe. **

**I also like to thank HeidiM2574 for the review! I'll try and keep it up! Though I think my updating will slow down because of the work I have for school. Oh well, I will try! **

**Please R&R as always! I love the reviews, and comments are always welcome, hints or something as well, don't worry I can't bite over internet! **

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the characters of Mass Effect, Bioware has that privilege.**

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She could feel his talons tighten around her hands that were above her head while he was standing behind her, growling softly. She hissed in return, not wanting him to stop her from punching the punching bag until there was nothing left of it. It helped her think, it helped her make herself calm. She just had to think that bag was a husk or a reaper or something else that either killed one of her teammates during the big fight or had her so confused about what was going on. She was suppose to be dead! She was so sure death was following her every move yet she survived. She survived because those reapers were planning another attack! Yet no one would believe her!

"Let. Me. Go." She hissed and Garrus shook his head.

"Not going to happen." She struggled, trying to free her arms and trying to kick him where it hurts but he avoided her kicks by simply stepping aside. He could see her face. So many emotions were flowing through her eyes. Anger, hurt and he could see she was afraid as well, begging him to help her.

"Garrus, ju-"

"Fight me then, Shepard. Tell me what the hell is bothering you so much and take it all out on me." He told her and she was confused now. Why would he want her to fight him?

Before she could say anything she felt him push her shoulders, making her take a step back, challenging her.

She growled, her instincts taking over as she charged him, aiming her fist to his cheek while the other blocked her side. Her grabbed the fist and went to hit her with a fist aimed at her nose. She blocked it with her arm, wincing at the force her put behind his punch. He was probably very angry at her. He saw sadness cross her face for a moment before it was replaced by anger. She aimed a kick at his side and it hit him, hard, making him take a few steps aside. Before he could react she charged at him again, this time with her biotics flaring. He growled and rushed into her, making her fall to the ground with him on top of her, pinning her wrists above her head as he straddled her hips.

His mandibles flared against her as he growled.

"Talk, Shepard."

"Why would you care?" She screamed while squirming beneath him, trying to free herself to no avail.

"I'm your boyfriend, Jael. Of course I care!"His hold on her wrist tightens as he said that, anger now flaring in his eyes as well.

"There's nothing WRONG with me!" She said and used her biotics to push him off of her. He was slammed against the wall and now she was on top of him, pinning him down.

"LOOK at yourself, Shepard. Can't you see what is going on? Talk to me!"Garrus said and tackled her so that he was pinning her down again. She could see the worry in his eyes and the love he still held for her, but she ignored it and instead tried to knee him, which made him hold her wrist with one hand while the other held her leg down. It was the wrong decision to make since now she could free herself from his grip and push him off of her again. She was on her hands and feet, looking like a predator and it only made him want her. Maybe this was a bad idea.

He let that thought move to the back of his mind and copied her stance.

"Jael, I lost you once and I almost lost you twice, I am NOT going to let you go, so you better talk to me because you know my endurance is better than yours." Wrong thing to say, yes, but he had to pull her over the edge now.

"WHAT?" Oh yes, she was pissed. She rushed towards him and he blocked her by holding her by her shoulders, pushing her back.

"I didn't die because some freaking GOD up there wants me to survive even though I was suppose to be DEAD!" She screamed while taking a step back and took a defensive stance, waiting for him to attack again.

"I am alive because whoever is up there wants me to fight the reapers AGAIN! They are gone now, but they will be back!" She told him and Garrus growled, rushing into her again, slamming her into the wall while locking his eyes with hers.

"You are alive and I THANK the spirits that you are! You should know that my life would be worthless without you in it! The reapers are GONE Jael, and they won't come back either! We WON that battle DAMN IT!" He screamed at her and she pushed against him, tears starting in her eyes.

"If you're so happy that I'm back, THAT I FULFILLED MY ORDER TO YOU, then WHY aren't you LOOKING at me like you USED TO?" She screamed in his face , her fists balled at her sides while the tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"Because of this! Because of all this anger!" Garrus said and saw her gasp in shock and realization.

"But..you gave me the freaking order to come back _**alive**_! You told me to survive!" She said and punched him in the chest, but there was no force behind it.

"Yes, I did, I told you to survive the reapers! And you did! So why can't you relax?" He asked her and she kept punching him, crying and moaning in sadness at the same time.

"I keep having nightmares, keep dreaming that they control me now because I forced them away." Shepard explained while resting her head against his chest in sorrow.

"I keep thinking they are everywhere, that the reapers are coming back and that I can't do SHIT about it! I can't stop worrying about us either, if you'd still want me, still love me.." She said and felt him hold her against him as everything she kept cropped up inside left through the tears coming from her eyes.

"Jael…listen.." He sighed and sat down, taking her with him and let her sit on his lap.

"I would NEVER let you go, you mean the world to me and you should know that already." He told her while stroking her hair with his talons softly.

"Then why didn't you..you know…take me again?" She asked a bit awkwardly and he couldn't help but laugh.

"You were half dead when we found you, Chakwas had to operate you so you needed to recover afterwards and when you were .. able..you were angry and I didn't know how to calm you down." He then chuckled some more as he thought of something.

"Guess 'blowing off steam' was what you needed to ease the stress?" He asked and felt her chuckle.

"Well, there's no one here. Why don't we blow off steam together?" She asked and looked at him, wiggling her eyebrows.

He raised one eyebrow plate and felt her kiss his mandibles. He smirked, if turians even could, and pushed her down on the floor again, being careful with the bruises and cuts she already had from their fight. He kissed her forehead before leaning his forehead against hers and tracing his talons over the curves of her body. Her hands were moving to the crown on his head, tickling him there before moving to scratch his back slowly. He purred in response and took her shirt of her body, leaving her in her sports bra and shorts. He let one talon scratch her belly, leaving small red marks on her skin.

Jael ached her back before she moved to tug on his shirt. He purred and took the piece of clothing of his body. He took hold of her pants and bra and in one pull ripped them both of her body, followed by her panties. She pouted playfully and without having to say a word he took care of the rest of his clothing.

He purred in her ear before moving one leg of hers over his shoulder and letting one talon slide over her slit, making her shiver in delight.

He felt his plates shift but kept pleasing her. He let his talon slide over her slit once more, feeling how wet and ready she was for him and that made him growl in pleasure. It felt good to know that he could make her feel that way.

After hearing her gasp again and arch her back for him, he moved one talon to slip inside of her slowly, and that earned a moan as a reward. He moved his finger in and out of her in a slow rhythm.

She started moving her hips up and down against his hand in sync with his rhythmic moving.

"Garrus…please.." She begged him. He chuckled and let his thumb move over her clit, making her moan and shiver in his arms. Her hair was clinging to her face because of the blood seeping from some cuts and the sweat that rolled down her face because of his teasing.

She rolled her hips and moved her head back before screaming in pleasure as she hit her first climax.

As Jael was trying to catch her breath she looked at his pleased face and bit her lip.

"Don't tell me you're done yet.." She said with a voiced filled with lust. He couldn't help himself. The way she looked, blood and sweat included, and the way she was talking to him. It made him want to take her.

"Garrus.." She whispered his name and he growled in return, grabbing her by her hips, both her legs swung over his shoulder as he let himself slide into her slowly and deeply. She gasped and screamed in pain and pleasure.

"Call my name.." He ordered in her ear and she complied, calling his name followed by a moan. He began to move faster and kept his eyes locked with hers, forcing her to face him with one hand on her cheek while the other held onto one of her legs over his shoulder.

"Say it again." He growled and her eyes were shining with lust and love.

"Garrus.." She moaned while trying to move him deeper inside of her with every thrust she made with her hips against his.

He fastened his pace again after she called his name and when she noticed what he was doing she called his name again and again, making him go as fast as he could before she moaned again and climaxed against him. With a few more pushes he followed her and filled her completely.

Grunting as he does and thumping spastically inside of her.

She chuckled and as he moved her legs back from over his shoulders she nuzzled her head in his neck and she heard him purr slowly.

"Garrus?"

"Yes love?" He sounded so tired.

"What if you left that battery..and put your stuff in my cabin instead?" He moved his face to look at her.

"What … do you mean?" He asked, confusion written over his face.

"Move into my cabin..make it 'our' cabin?" She asked and he put his forehead against hers in a turian kiss.

"I love you, Garrus Vakarian."

"I love you, Jael Shepard."

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**A/N: No no, don't worry, not finished yet! Heh, she's not healed that quickly! This is just to put some smut and happy thoughts between all the drama! **

**R&R! **


	6. Remourse, regret and fake a smile

**THE ORDER**

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**First off, I want to thank everybody for the reviews and for putting my story in their story alert list/favorite list. It means a lot to me! And I'm doing the best I can to keep this story up and running for all of you. Don't want to disappoint my readers and fans! **

**Second, I want to apologize for taking so long to update and make a new chapter. I hope I didn't make you all check your mail 5 times a day just to see if there was an update. So, so sorry! **

**But, I hope this chapter goes to your liking! **

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the characters of Mass Effect. Bioware is the proud owner!**

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Jael was up in her cabins, looking at some pictures from her crew that was made before she got into custody. Everybody that helped her was that. Kasumi, Liara, Miranda, Jacob, Mordin, Legion, Samara, Grunt, Wrex, Jack, James, Tali, Joker, Edi and of course Garrus.

They were all looking satisfied and at peace. They even looked so happy back then. All smiling, well you couldn't really tell if Legion or Tali were smiling but she remembered that they were making noises that sounded a lot like a laugh, yes, even Legion did that. A tear rolled down her cheek as she thought about those that died now in the last war, just to help others.

Mordin..he died to make sure the Krogans got their cure for the genophage. She remembered how the one he named Eve was even mourning over him, how Wrex honored him afterwards. Mordin died a hero and she would always remember that, she would always make sure that he would be remembered as a hero and nothing less.

Then, there was Legion. He died to make sure all geth got the update send to them. It was a sacrifice that helped her to win the war afterwards. And she would be forever grateful.

Every time she heard someone call 'Shepard commander' she would feel her heart ache a bit. Legion had grown so much since she first met him to get the reaper IFF to defeat the collectors. He never saw himself as an individual, not until he sacrificed himself. And that was how she would remember him, as an individual, one of her crew, Legion. A geth that died a hero just to help her win that war.

To her it was unfair. Miranda lived and could stay with her sister without the threat of her father coming for them. Jacob had a family now as well with Britt, Wrex and Grunt were probably making little krogans on Tuchanka, Tali was back on her home, rebuilding her planet with the Geth and probably looking for a nice male as well, Jack was tutoring her kids, Samara was with her last daughter again, James was doing his job for the N7 soldiers…they were all moving on. Liara was on this ship, helping to get it back in shape with the help of Garrus and Chakwas was with her. Edi and Joker were spending time together in the cockpit, making sure everything would be ready when the ship was rebuild. A lot of N7 soldiers were running around, all doing what they could to make sure the Normandy would be up and ready in no time.

It made her depressed to see that she couldn't do anything because of her condition after the 'spar' she had with Garrus. It made her even more depressed to see that those who died a hero could've had a perfect life ahead of them. Legion could still help with rebuilding Tali's home planet and Mordin could help with making more medicine, or go to the beach, as he said, to do research on the sea shells.

More tears rolled down Shepard's cheeks as she kept staring at the picture. Joker was smiling with the blue blob that was Edi next to him. You could see he was nervously looking at the blob but was still trying to keep a smile for the picture. It wasn't much of a surprise to her to see him develop feelings for Edi once she got a body. It was kind of cute to see actually. Kaidan and Ashley weren't on the picture. Ashley died a hero in their war with Saren…a day that was still imprinted in her mind and would never go away. And Kaidan…he wasn't there when she got into 'custody', but he did help her win the fight against the reapers. He asked her about Garrus and her and he wasn't happy to hear that they were indeed together. He was jealous, or so it seemed. So it wasn't a surprise to her when she heard he went to be a specter as well. She thought he would do that just to make sure he would be away from her for a while..she was happy for him that he got the opportunity, but at the same time she felt so bad for making him feel like he needed..space…

The door to her cabin opened and Jael didn't have to look up to know who was moving to her. There were only two people that knew the code to her cabin. Herself and Garrus. It was his cabin now as well after all. He moved in a week ago and they never regretted making the decision. He saw that she had been crying and sat down next to her on the couch, wrapping one arm around her waist and moving her closer to his body. She cried again. It just didn't feel right that she survived to see the galaxy working together in peace while those who helped her, those who fought for her and helped everyone in the galaxy with that had sacrificed themselves to help HER. SHE was the reason they died, if she hadn't recruited them and ask them to help her with different tasks, then they wouldn't have had the opportunity to sacrifice their lives for her and die afterwards. It was unfair.

Garrus purred softly into her ear, wanting her to look at him and tell him what was going on, yet all she could do was stare forward and cry silently for those she thought she 'killed' in a way.

"Love?" His voice was urgent now, he needed to know what was going on. He thought she was back to normal but she was spacing out on him, crying without making a sound, and he was confused on what to do. She didn't move into his body like she had done so many times when she had cried over someone or something. She didn't push him away either like she did during her anger attacks. She just…sat still and cried.

"I..killed them…I killed Legion and Mordin just because I wanted them to help me gain allies for the fight against the reapers. If I hadn't met them…if I hadn't asked them to help…" She didn't finish that sentence as her voice gave out on her. Garrus was shocked to hear her say this. She never thought like this. She never talked like that after the death of Ashley, she had mourned over her, yes, but never had she blamed herself for making the wrong decision. She never thought she killed someone. She knew that the people that sacrificed their lives 'for the greater good' would give their lives again if they were given the choice. They were loyal to her, they knew that their lives were on the line when they made the decision to join Shepard in the war against the reapers, they knew their lives were on the line when they were joining her before that as well. So why does she react the way she is now? It didn't make sense to him.

"Love…they knew that they could die. They died a hero, for the galaxy. If they had the choice to do it again or stay alive and walk away…I bet they would die for the galaxy again every time. You didn't kill them, they made their decision. And you should be proud of that." He told her in a soft voice but she didn't react.

It wouldn't be as bad as it was for him now if he didn't have news for her. News that would probably make her cry even more in this state of mind.

She wiped her eyes from tears and looked at him, seeing his eyes were unfocused as he was thinking about something as well.

"What is it?" Jael asked and Garrus sighed, blinking before focusing his eyes on hers again. He tightened his hold on her and seemed to think about how to talk as he opened and closed his lip plates a couple of times.

"I..got the opportunity again to be a spectre. Councilor Sparatus gave me the option, told me to think about it. He wants an answer next week." He said, looking like he still couldn't believe it himself.

"I need to go off the ship for a while if I want to be a spectre, they need me to follow a training that starts next Thursday next week." He explained and heard her breathing stop for a second before breathing out and in slowly and shakily. He couldn't look at her for that moment.

"You should do it." 'I don't deserve him anyway' was what followed in her mind.

"You should be a spectre. You should be honored, and so should they that they got a turian like you." She explained and faked a smile for his sake.

"Are you sure, love? I need to be off the ship for at least a month." He told her and she took a deep breath before nodding her head.

"Garrus, this is a once in a lifetime chance. Go for it." 'I don't deserve him…he probably doesn't even like me that much anymore..' Her thoughts didn't show on her face though as she put on a mask and he nodded slowly before kissing her forehead softly.

"I'll go tell Sparatus that I'll be there next week, I'll ask them to pick me up then, since the Normandy is still on repairs." He said and she nodded. Jael would've loved to drop him off and wave goodbye but that wasn't going to happen. She sighed as he left the room to contact Sparatus with the news.

She was scared to lose him, to not be his human anymore. She would always care for him, and she would always love him, but he needed this chance. He needed to at least try. And she couldn't stand in the way of that chance. She put her face in her hands as she cried from the thought of him going away for a month. She wanted to start a family, together, with him…would that ever happen? Would they even get a chance? She wasn't so sure anymore. The losses of her friends and now this, it was all getting too much for her to handle.

' _Maybe even see what a turian-human baby looks like_..'

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**A/N: More drama! Oooooo! Please R&R! I hope to update again soon, next week is my week off so I hope to get a new chapter up by then. X Cilvanti.**


	7. The markings of a Turian

**THE ORDER**

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**AAAAAHHH! I can't believe my story is so wanted that with every chapter I write I get more people to put my story on their alert list! Thankyouthankyouthankyou! I love to thank those that reviewed as well of course, and again I must apologize for the delay in my updating, but I love to keep you all impatiently waiting for more. I'm just that evil [insert evil laughter here]. **

**Anyway..on to the story shall we…expect at least three more chapters! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of the characters or scenes, they are all from Bioware!**

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'Left, right, a hook right followed by a high kick, move left then a low punch right. Harder, faster! More! Get it out of your system! Harder! Don't let him get you down! You're Commander Shepard damn it! Don't let him get you down! '

Her mind was coaching her on as she punched and kicked the red punching back in front of her. It was a new one, replaced after her first training session to relieve some stress. Of course it ended up with her having bed rest again because she sparred Garrus afterwards. God what she wouldn't do to kick him in the gut again now. It's been two weeks now since he left…two weeks and he hadn't left a single message to let her know how the spectre training is going. He didn't even call or anything! It angered her to say the least. It was a good thing she was free to do as she wanted again without having to worry about her injuries. Chakwas had seen the recovery was going smoothly and the wounds were almost gone, some scars were left behind. Wrex would be so proud.

She kicked the bag again as she thought back to when Garrus left for training.

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'_You're going to be okay?' He asked her as he held her close to him. They were lying on their bed, entwined in each other's arms. In an hour his shuttle would arrive to pick him up from the planet they were on. The Normandy was almost fixed thanks to the repairmen the alliance had sent. So she could visit him on Earth. Since the Citadel was destroyed the alliance had decided to stay on earth and help with the renovations before moving to other planets. _

'_No…I'm not…' She wasn't going to lie to him now. She was afraid she would have another break down as soon as he went on the shuttle to earth. HER home planet and he could leave. She didn't want to leave her ship behind with her crew, she was still their Commander. _

'_Yes you are Jael, don't lie. You're strong. You don't need me to hold your hand.' He tried to reassure her but she only huffed at it and held him tighter._

'_I might be able to break your mandibles or something but..damn it Garrus you know how much you mean to me and in times like these…Earth is still dangerous….all the mercs are there, the blue suns, the Eclipse AND the Blood Pack…they are probably looking for you now that the whole war is..over…they probably want your head, Garrus. They can't be trusted, damn it.' She held her tears back but he could see how much it truly scared her that the mercenaries and him were going to be on the same planet and probably close to each other as well. _

'_I'll let you know how I'm doing love, don't you worry. I won't get hurt. I mean, they couldn't take me down on Omega, and now that I got stronger, I bet they can't take me down now either. And if I drop your name..there is no way in hell that they are even going to try.' He told her in a comforting tone and she sighed. He was probably right._

'Kick, harder, faster, left, right! Kick it harder! The groin! Hook left!' Her mind only made her want to tear this bag apart as well but she had to hold back, she was probably going to need this bag a lot more this month. She was worried to say the least, and her mental state was going backwards fast. She couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, was crying more often lately and she didn't even know why! Chakwas probably already knew because she was trying to get her to come over to the med bay but so far Shepard had declined every appointment. She didn't want to know…she already had an idea what it was…these were small signals of a small depression. She just needed to get back in her old rhythm and forget about all her worries but how could she when the man she loved was already on Earth, training to be a spectre and not leaving any messages for her.

She growled and kicked the bag again. It was bad enough that he had to leave after having mind blowing sex with her.

_His talons were pulling at her shirt while he pushed her body against the wall of their cabin with his own, pinning her between him and the wall. His breath was on her neck as he nipped her there, making her shiver. A moan escaped her lips as her hands worked on his fringes, massaging the skin there while hiking her legs up and over his hips, letting him hold her body up by pushing her harder against the wall. He growled, that sexy and powerful growl. It turned her on every freaking time. _

_She tugged his shirt up and he pulled it over his head, revealing his chest to her and she didn't know she could undress herself as fast as she did, pulling her shirt and bra off her body before letting her legs down, standing as she removed her pants and panties for him, kicking off her boots and socks at the same time. As she looked at him again he was stark naked, standing inches away from her with boner ready to please her. _

_She licked her lips and before she could even say a word she was pinned against the wall again, his teeth scratching the skin on her neck while she moaned and rolled her head to the side to give him better access. She moved her hands to his neck and scratched the skin there while she felt his hands move to her thighs, picking her legs up and moving them over his hips. She locked her ankles together while he moved his member over her entrance, teasing her. Oh how he teased her. _

_She glared at him and growled softly and only got a turian smirk in response. He then slowly let his tip enter, only making her whimper and moan impatiently at him. He was evil. _

_He then moved in deeper till he was fully inside of her and started to move achingly slow in and out of her. She wanted him and he was only taking his sweet time with teasing her. She growled and he chuckled while biting her neck, making her scream in pleasure and pain. _

'_You're mine Shepard, nothing and no one can change that for me. I'm not going to lose you Jael, I'm not going to risk losing you again.' He growled while pouncing into her harder and faster. _

'_You're my mate, my love.' She knew mate meant about the same as girlfriend or boyfriend, only stronger. Bondmate was about the same as husband and wife. And she was sure she would want to be his bondmate in the near future. _

'_You're mine and only mine, so come for me, call my name.' He growled and she couldn't help herself as she felt his breath on her skin again while he growled for her to come for him. It took her over the edge as she climaxes, her pussy spasms around his dick as she moans out his name. That took him to his climax and he fills her. A low moan escapes his mouth and the look she received from him, that glance of everlasting love, passion, lust, hunger and respect. It was perfect and it was a picture she would always remember._

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"DAMN IT!" She screamed as she gave one final punch against the bag. She stopped it from swinging back and sat down, taking her bottle and took a gulp of water before rubbing her eyes with her index finger and thumb.

"Commander, you received a new message." It was EDI's voice calling over the comm. She couldn't help the feeling that news gave her. Fright. Would it be him or would it be another spectre in training, telling her that the mercenaries got him? Was he all right? Was he hurt? Did he still love her or did he find someone new? Was he cheating? Was he thinking of her? All kinds of thoughts were running through her head, all kinds of scenarios and they weren't reassuring her at all.

She went to her cabin to get some privacy and looked at her private terminal, opening the message she got. It was indeed from Garrus, and it wasn't a scaring message at all.

_My love,_

_I am sorry that I waited this long to finally message you, it's been busy here. The training is going smoothly; I guess serving under you has done me well, in more than one way. _

She could read a smirk placed on his mouth plates as he wrote that part.

_The guys here are talking about your actions. You are highly respected here. And that makes me proud to be part of your team. Yes, your team. Spectre or not I'm planning to get back on the Normandy and cover your six again. Everybody knows you need that. I showed you that on our Citadel date._

Ah yes, the time she missed the shot on purpose. Good thing he doesn't know that.

_Anyway, I'm missing you around me Jael. Your scent, your voice and your face with your beautiful smile are floating in my mind. And even in my mind you're teasing the hell out of me. I send you a picture of the current spectres in training made by one of our trainers, I hope you like it. I'll keep you updated. _

_Love,_

_Your mate._

She opened the attached file and saw the picture of his 'class'. He was smiling sincerely at the camera, and she knew it was because he had gotten this chance to make his dream come true, like he always wanted. She couldn't help but smile in return and answer the message. Telling him about how the repairing of the Normandy went, giving him a few teasing ideas and telling him about the progress of her healing. She left out how long it would take for the Normandy to be ready, simply because she wanted to surprise him with a little something.

He would be gone for two more weeks at least, and the Normandy was about ready to go, three days top. And to get to Earth without the relays would take about a week.

Her eyes widen at an idea that flicked in her mind and a smile from ear to ear came on her lips. She looked at the information Mordin had once send her about Turians customs and searched for information about 'bondmates'.

She knew the markings showed what clan or family you came from, what she didn't know however was that when a woman took the markings from her lover, she was actually asking him to be her bondmate.

'Kind of like a proposal then..' she mumbled and smiled. Though she knew it was probably an insult to the turian and humans if she took his markings on her face, there were other options.

And she had a week and three days to figure it out.

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**A/N: Short, yes I know…my head was filled with…well you don't wanna know but let's just say that it might not be the best chapter I have written because of that all. I still hope you liked it though. **

**Review! I want reviews! X Cilvanti**


	8. Mission: Earth

**THE ORDER**

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**Okay, I know, it's been too long! But as I warned earlier, because of school that's giving me a lot of work I don't think I can update as often as I did when I started this story. Anyway! I like to thank you all for still being my loyal fans. Give me a few pointers where you think needed or a few ideas if you have any or just comments if you want to say something about this story. I love to read them all! **

**I think after this chapter there will be one or two more. Every story has an ending, so I have to end this story as well. Don't forget to review! **

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Mass Effect or any of the characters! The proud owner is Bioware.**

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They would arrive in just a couple of hours. Time has gone by too slow for Shepard's liking and now it only became worse. Three more hours and then she would be on earth, holding the person that meant the world to her. They had messaged each other more often lately. His last message was telling her about a mission he was going to guide with two other spectres in training. To say she was worried was an understatement.

This mission was today, she knew that.

She held the dog tag she was wearing. It had his facial marks on it and their names on the back. She knew it was silly but she needed something to show him that she wanted to be his forever. They had survived Saren, the collectors and the reapers. He wanted to see how a family would look like with her and spent their life together. And she couldn't imagine spending her life any other way now.

She never felt this way before, not with Kaiden or with anyone else for that matter, and it made her nervous. What would Garrus think? How would he react? Would he even like it or was this all a slap in the face for him for insulting his culture? Did he even feel the same way? She knew he loved her, but would he love her this much? Would he even understand what she meant with this necklace? With his markings?

A sigh escaped her lips and she let go of the dog tag and glanced back at her messages.

"Just stay alive, Garrus, don't get yourself in trouble like you used to. I will kill you, revive you and kill you again if you do that." She knew she could never do that but the thought of him out of her live was just making her more nervous than ever. It scared her, just as the reapers scared it.

* * *

Hours had passed and all Jael could do was pace around. She had seen earth when it was demolished, but to see it now, slowly getting build back to how it was, it brought back memories of her falling down to earth after taking care of the reapers. Yet it also gave her a feeling of pride, all the races of the galaxy working together.

Walking towards the new Embassy she smiled at some faces she recognized and talked to those she knew personally. It took her half an hour to get to the main office of the Spectre training grounds instead of 10 minutes, all because of the talks she had on the way there.

What she found at arrival however was far from what she expected. People were rushing around, screaming and yelling, frantic eyes looking at paperwork and colleagues and she got a feeling in the pit of her stomach that it had something to do with the mission that Garrus was currently on.

She became the commander again as she moved to one of the men there, a Turian, and stopped him in his steps by pushing her hand on his chest, standing before him.

"What is going on?" She demanded as she glared at him and all he could do was mumble and look around frantically. He was talking in his native tongue and holding his earpiece close, talking into it.

"He wants to talk to you." That was all he said before handing her the earpiece he was talking into before.

She growled as he ran away, taking a new earpiece with him. She put the communication device on and started to talk to whoever was on the other side.

"This is Commander Shepard of the Alliance Navy. What is going on?" She demanded more than asked and what she heard literally made her eyes widen and her breath was taken away.

"Jael…We're trapped. The mission failed. The Blue Suns arrived. And they brought a new toy that seems to hate each and every creature in the way." It was Garrus, and he seemed hurt by the way he was talking. He was groaning and took longer to form words. She looked around then felt helpless.

"Where are you?" She asked him, already on her way out of the building.

"Go outside…look for a huge robot with laser eyes. It should seem small to you. I'm close to that creature. Look, Jael, all my men are down, me and three other of the 15 that arrived here are the only survivors, this thing is huge, and it has no mercy. If I don't make it out…" His words were stopped by a sigh and what seemed like the sound of a beam. It reminded her too much of the reapers.

"Stay safe Garrus. I'm coming your way." She said and as she arrived outside the building she looked around for what he described. Why didn't anyone notice this before, or was she the only blind one? As she looked again at the people she greeted she could see the fear in their eyes and the whispering of their mouths to their neighbor.

She became blind…too excited and nervous to see Garrus.

The robot reminded her of the human reaper she fought now almost a year ago. It wasn't close to where she was now but close enough to cause fear.

"Garrus, you've been through a lot worse than this, so stay alive damn it, I'm coming your way and we'll beat that thing!" She screamed before static caused her to scream in agitation. She couldn't contact Garrus anymore. The monster robot had shot another beam and the static afterwards had caused her to hold her heart.

He had to be alive, they've been through a lot worse than that..THING and she wasn't going to let the robot kill her loved ones.

"Joker, let Tali and Liara suit up. We've got trouble."She said as she made way to the ship.

"On it Shepard. Care to let me in on the mission?"

"Kill a giant robot with a need to kill."

"Ah, the good old times. Do you tend to always run after trouble or is it just coincidence that everywhere you go something evil shows up?" The pilot asked.

"I think a little of both, Joker."

* * *

After getting transport to the place of horrors, Jael got sight of the demolition the giant robot left behind. Houses were only a few bricks of stone again, just like after the reapers. Bodies littered the streets, giant footsteps permanently set in the ground. She couldn't help the cold shiver that ran up and down her back.

"Any word from Garrus?" Liara asked and Shepard shook her head, holding her emotions inside as she focused on the mission. Get the monster down, no matter the cost.

"He should be around." Jael only said, her eyes scanning the grounds while looking out for the huge robot. It was walking ahead of them and so far didn't notice them.

"Plan of action?" Tali asked her leader and Jael sighed. For the first time since a long time she didn't know what to do. Her lover, her MATE and future, or at least hopefully future husband was in trouble with the rest of his squad, her home planet was in danger, and she didn't know what to do anymore.

"We need a weakness. We just need one spot where we can launch a rocket, just like with the reapers. But I never fought this thing of the Blue Suns. I don't know the weakness yet. EDI? Do you have any information about this thing?"She asked while running ahead, her team following her.

"I'm on it Shepard, I'll let you know if I have anything." There was a moment of silence while the three women kept their pace.

"Shepard, look left. Isn't it strange that the robot defeats its creators?" As Jael looked to her left she saw bodies of the Blue Suns and nodded to herself.

"They probably didn't have control over their own creation either. That was Garrus's mission. He said he heard rumors of something being created by the Blue Suns, they wanted to investigate their base, but the Blue Suns had their surprise ready."Jael explained and shivered at the thought of Garrus being one of the bodied on the street.

"EDI, can you tell me the coordinates of where Garrus last was when I was communicating with him through this earpiece?" She asked, hoping it wasn't a dumb question.

"Searching." Her robotic voice called and what seemed like hours, but were only seconds passed by before she heard her answer.

"Officer Vakarian was 300 meters south of you when he last communicated with you. I tracked his current location and he moved 200 meters more into that direction. He is moving away from the robotic creature."

Shepard sighed, he was moving, which meant he was alive.

"Can you get me in contact with him?"

"Making a connection, Shepard." EDI called and a few more seconds later she heard Garrus whisper.

"Jael, this is not a good moment." He answered and she growled.

"I'm trying to save your ass here, Vakarian." She told him while running towards him.

"How are you holding?"

"I'm moving, I'm alive." She could hear the grunt in his voice. He was hurt, badly.

"How bad is it?"

He sighed. "A broken rib, maybe a broken ankle as well. I haven't tried to stand on it yet." He told her and she felt her heart sank.

"Give me your coordination's. " He grunted before she saw his location shown on her map on her omnitool. "Hold on, I'm there with a couple of minutes." She said and ran as hard as her body could move her, looking at the robot before her. It was so close to where Garrus was hiding and a yell escaped her lips as a beam was directed at him. She heard him call her name before the beam hit, telling her to hurry. Tears blurred her eyes and all she was saying as the communication was cut down was a prayer to whatever god was looking over her to let him be alive.

But as she saw the buildings surrounding Garrus's coordination's collapse, her heart skipped a beat, she couldn't seem to breath anymore and all was silent. No one could survive that. No one.

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**A/N: An other chapter done! I'm so proud of myself. I think the next chapter will be filled with more action, romance, drama and maybe a little angst. Maybe. So, look out for the next chapter! Review please! x Cilvanti**


	9. The question

**THE ORDER**

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**I'm so so so SO sorry for letting you all wait so long, but I promise, it will be worth it! Or so I hope. ANYWAY! I'd like to thank you all for reviewing and adding me or my story to your favorite list, it's an honor and will always be an honor! I think in the time I wrote this story I finished ME3 about two times…yea I'm THAT addicted to the game. Review please! Love to read your thoughts and ideas! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters or scenes. They all belong to Bioware.**

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Her vision was blurred and seemed to shake more than normal while her head was still. Her hearing seemed to be focused on her hearing only. She could see Liara talking with Tali standing beside her, Liara was shaking her body and looking irritated by now and she blinked her eyes a couple of times to focus on her lips. She said Garrus, she recognized that.

"DAMN IT SHEPARD WE NEED TO SAVE HIM SO SNAP OUT OF IT! HE CAN STILL BE ALIVE BELIEVE IN THAT! WE NEED TO DESTROY THAT THING!" Tali screamed and that did it, Jael heard it and got her determination back, her eyes glowing with reassurance and determination as she looked at the buildings. She took one breath before holding the earpiece closer to her ear.

"EDI, can you look for nearby life signals?"

"I'm on it, Shepard." The mechanical voice responded and at the same time Jael grabbed her rocket launcher, running towards the robot with a growl. That thing will pay, badly.

"Jael, there is a small life signal in the tower to your left." Hearing this Shepard immediately went into the tower that was nearly destroyed, parts of the walls were missing but it was still standing. It reminded her of the buildings on earth after the reapers had attacked.

"Where exactly is the life signal coming from, EDI?"

"It appears to be coming from the third floor, close to the door of the staircase." EDI responded and Shepard, Tali and Liara went running to the staircase, hearing the robot move closer to them. Shit…it saw them.

"MOVE MOVE MOVE!" Jael screamed while seeing the mechanical monster fire a laser at them. She got her team in the building just in time, ducking away just before the beam hit the ground and part of the building, making parts of the ceiling fall down on them.

Shepard got out from under the debris, groaning while looking around for her team.

"Tali, Liara? Are you okay?" She screamed and she heard someone gasp for air, it seemed the person was running.

"Shepard, we're okay, we're on the third floor now. No survivors left."

"EDI, can you confirm this?"

"Confirmed Shepard, that last hit probably hit the person, the life signal went lost after that."

"FUCK!" Shepard screamed and threw more debris of her body.

She then looked outside and at the buildings still standing. Where would Garrus's body be? He had to be here somewhere. A sigh escaped her lips, she couldn't believe that he would actually be- NO, she wouldn't finish that thought.

"Tali, Liara, we need a new plan. We're close to that thing now and it obviously saw us. We need to split up. Liara, I need you to go look for survivors on the North side. Tali, I want you to do the same on the west. I will figure out a way to take that thing down and look for survivors on the south. EDI, keep an eye on our back, if you see anything move that wasn't there before, tell us."

Jael ordered while moving to the south, keeping eye on the robot that was firing at her. She always seemed to be the target in these battles.

"EDI, how's the beam of the Normandy?" She asked while running away from another attack, moving behind debris of destroyed building to keep hidden from the monster.

"It's not fully repaired, it can work at a max of 70% of its normal capacity."

"Is that enough to take that thing down?"

"It is, it will need to warm up first." EDI informed, her calm mechanical voice sometimes could be pretty irritating.

'How long?" She asked while firing her rocket launcher at the robot to distract it from her other team mates.

"Approximately 3 minutes."

"I'll just have to distract that thing till then. What about live signals around me?"

"One, in the building behind you." EDI answers and as if on cue a shot came from behind her. She immediately put her hand where her heart was, but she wasn't hurt. She looked up to see a merc on her left fall to the ground. He had a knife in his left hand. She hadn't seen him, and he was shot, that meant the life signal was on her side. Could it be him?

She looked behind her and up into the building, scanning each window then saw him waving his hand, signaling for her to come to him, he needed help. She didn't think twice, counting the floors to see where he was sitting then went into the building, running up the stairs to him.

When she saw him sitting there, his leg bleeding and his armor ruined, she gasped and held her breath.

He was alive. And he was there, he rescued her. He was alive. Alive.

"Garrus." She whispered his name, not sure of her voice. He chuckled and coughed afterwards.

"I'm glad you made it, wouldn't be the same without you." He mumbled and his voice send chills up and down her spine of joy and relief.

She ran up to him and hugged him as tight as she could, forgetting the world around them for a moment before hearing him chuckle.

He held her gently, nuzzling her head with his while moving his hands over her body slowly.

"We need to get that thing down, Shepard. It is destroying so many buildings, if we don't take it down, it will destroy everything in its way. And that means Earth will be destroyed, again." He growled the last part. He was right.

That thing, whatever it truly was, it could destroy the whole planet if it wasn't stopped. And she knew she had the best shot.

"Tali, Liara, I got Garrus, he's wounded. Joker, send a shuttle down the new coordinates. Liara, Tali, come get Garrus and take him to the shuttle, coordinates for Garrus's exact position on the way, plus coordinates of the shuttle lading point. Joker, I also want you to get the Normandy high enough to get that beam in the correct position to hit that thing and only that thing. Understood?" She heard Tali and Liara running her way while Joker gave an affirmative. Garrus however was glaring daggers at her.

"I'm not leaving your six."

"You need to, you're wounded!"

"And you can die, I'm not letting that happen."

"I can, yes, but I need you to get on that shuttle."

"No, not going to happen. The last time I did that I almost lost you to the reapers! DAMMIT Jael I don't want to leave your six! I'm a spectre now as well!" He said and she sighed.

"Tali, Liara, head to the shuttle and get safe. Garrus and I will take that thing down. Joker, how's the Normandy?"

"Shuttle is on its way, ETA 20 seconds. The Normandy is in position."

"Tali and Liara?"

"We're at the dropping point. Safe." Tali answered and Shepard looked at Garrus. They nodded and looked at the Robot.

"Got on board that shuttle. I need you both to fly off as soon as possible." She told them and looked at Garrus again.

"You better get out of this alive." She told him and he smirked as far as Turians could.

"Distract that thing while I get the Normandy's laser ready, same plan as with the reaper." She said with a smirk of her own. She got her beam ready, searching for weak points.

"Get ready to run." She told Garrus and he tried to stand up, leaning on his good leg while looking out the window.

As Jael aimed at one of the weak spots, Garrus was already downstairs, knowing that if he had to run, he better get a head start.

"Aiming on the eyes. Get ready to move." She ordered to everybody and saw the mechanical monster get another beam ready to fire.

"GO! MOVE!" She screamed while hearing the beam of the Normandy firing on the eyes of the robot. In a split second all seemed gone. All Shepard could hear was screaming, but if it was a scream in horror or pain or joy, she didn't know she couldn't hear that. She didn't know who was screaming. She couldn't see, her eyes were closed and didn't want to open.

"SHEPARD!" Someone was calling for her but the voice didn't seem clear. It was blurred. It didn't make sense. Her body was aching but she didn't know what was hurting. Was it her arm? No, she could move her arm. Was it her chest? It seemed to be her head. She opened her eyes and looked at her hand after touching her head. There was a small amount of blood on her fingers.

"JAEL!" The voice was clear now. Garrus was calling for her. He made it?

"I'm here." She groaned and moved to get up, she felt dizzy but managed to keep her balance and move.

"You did it. You saved me and the whole freaking planet, again. How many times are you planning to do this?" He asked and she chuckled.

"I'm not sure yet. Where are you?"

"In the shuttle. Can you walk?"

She moved again and groaned in pain, her headache getting worse.

"Yeah, got a small wound on my head, but I can walk."

"We're heading to your direction, stay put." He said, worry was clear in his voice. She then realized something and felt in her armor to the necklace, hoping it wasn't damaged. Getting the dog tag out of her armor she looked at it and sighed in relief. Good it wasn't damaged.

She heard the shuttle and quickly hid her necklace. Getting on board she was immediately pulled into Garrus's arms and she smiled, knowing what she was about to do would be the best decision she ever made. She only hoped it would succeed.

As she stepped back she held his hand and looked into his eyes with all the love she had for him while keeping it serious.

"Garrus, I know the tradition is probably different in your culture, and I'm not sure how I could ask properly or if it is even appropriate for me to ask..but I have to try cause if I won't I would kick myself for it for years on after. Because you mean the world and more to me." As she told him this he began to look confused, not sure what she was trying to do, while Tali and Liara seemed to get tears in their eyes.

"Garrus.." As she pulled out her dog tag with is markings on it she asked him.

"Will you take me as your bondmate? Will you let me wear your markings?" As she asked the last part she didn't know if she offended him but he immediately pressed his head against hers while moving his mouth plates against her lips in a kiss.

"Of course, Jael, I want you to be my bondmate. I'd love for you to wear my markings." He purred in her ear and she smiled up at him. Now she had one more thing to research on the internet. How did Turians actually be bondmates?

* * *

That night on board of the Normandy the soon to be bondmates or, in human culture, the fiancés were taking a moment of themselves, laying in their bed, entwined in each other's arms.

Garrus had ended his training to become spectre and would have the ceremony next week, so they decided to stay docked on earth in the meantime.

Garrus was playing with her dog tag with a smirk.

"How did you know about the markings?" He asked and she smiled innocently.

"I looked it up."

He kissed her lips again while moving her body closer to his.

"So, how many Krogan babies do you want to adopt?" He asked and she laughed, truly laughed. How he loved that sound.

"Let's start with one. I'm not sure how hard it can be to raise kids from Wrex." She answered which made him laugh in return.

It seemed they wouldn't go to that bar in heaven just yet.

**The end**

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**So…that was the story, yes, it was shorter than promised and I'm sorry but I don't think I can make it any longer without making the story get boring. **

**Thank you all for reviewing, reading and adding this story to your favorite! **

**It was a pleasure writing this story. **

**And I will think about what to write next time. **

**X Cilvanti**


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